I began Autumn Quarter (my second year!) at UW hopeful, determined, and ready to immerse myself in new experiences, despite all classes and activities being virtual. Since I had not been admitted into Informatics in the Spring, I planned to apply this October as I had all my prerequisite courses for Informatics complete, and if I waited till Spring to apply, I would be required to take another English Composition course before applying. (Informatics was no longer accepting the Honors English Composition course I had taken last fall, HONORS 345) All this, and the fact that if I applied in October, I would have more time to plan for the future. As a "backup", I found Human Centered Design and Engineering (HCDE) to be a close match to the very core of what drew me to Informatics, so my Autumn Quarter classes were filled with HCDE prerequisites, plus INFO 340.
I spent hours upon hours of my last few weeks of summer preparing my essay for my second Informatics application, and I still remember the very moment when I read the email stating my denial from admission. I was in the middle of a Zoom section where cameras were on, and I was utterly devastated--I had to shut my camera off and grab a whole bunch of Kleenex, and I tried to quickly compose myself in order to return to class discussion. It felt like last Spring all over again, except even more heartbreaking because I knew this was my last chance to apply (due to the 2 application limit) and I felt like I never even got a chance at studying something I was so very interested in at the University of Washington. I knew if I really wanted to, I could try and register for remaining spots in INFO courses, or I could try and find majors with courses similar to INFO courses, but in that moment all I could feel was a sense of unbelonging and inadequacy.
A few weeks before the end of Autumn Quarter, I experienced a loss so painstaking, that my sadness regarding my academic setbacks seemed so trivial. On December 3, 2020, my Grandma passed away at 92 years old. It was sudden, completely unexpected, and I still feel as though a piece of my soul has gone and can no longer return. It's hard to describe in words what the loss of a loved one feels like, especially if you've never experienced it. I felt so helpless--all my memories with her were scattering like raindrops, and I was running around with cupped hands trying to catch them all. I have peace knowing that she is in Heaven now because she believed in Jesus Christ. I just can't help but wonder if she knows how much we wish she were here with us right now, how much I would give to say "I love you" to her one last time, to hear her laugh, and to hold her hand. If you're one of the very few people I imagine who actually look through this portfolio and read this far into my reflections, please, use this as a reminder to give your grandparents a call and tell them you love them :)
I spent hours upon hours of my last few weeks of summer preparing my essay for my second Informatics application, and I still remember the very moment when I read the email stating my denial from admission. I was in the middle of a Zoom section where cameras were on, and I was utterly devastated--I had to shut my camera off and grab a whole bunch of Kleenex, and I tried to quickly compose myself in order to return to class discussion. It felt like last Spring all over again, except even more heartbreaking because I knew this was my last chance to apply (due to the 2 application limit) and I felt like I never even got a chance at studying something I was so very interested in at the University of Washington. I knew if I really wanted to, I could try and register for remaining spots in INFO courses, or I could try and find majors with courses similar to INFO courses, but in that moment all I could feel was a sense of unbelonging and inadequacy.
A few weeks before the end of Autumn Quarter, I experienced a loss so painstaking, that my sadness regarding my academic setbacks seemed so trivial. On December 3, 2020, my Grandma passed away at 92 years old. It was sudden, completely unexpected, and I still feel as though a piece of my soul has gone and can no longer return. It's hard to describe in words what the loss of a loved one feels like, especially if you've never experienced it. I felt so helpless--all my memories with her were scattering like raindrops, and I was running around with cupped hands trying to catch them all. I have peace knowing that she is in Heaven now because she believed in Jesus Christ. I just can't help but wonder if she knows how much we wish she were here with us right now, how much I would give to say "I love you" to her one last time, to hear her laugh, and to hold her hand. If you're one of the very few people I imagine who actually look through this portfolio and read this far into my reflections, please, use this as a reminder to give your grandparents a call and tell them you love them :)