A month and a half after, I was asked to share a God Sighting during one of my college fellowship's weekly Bible studies. This is what I shared.
As some of you might know, my Grandmother passed away in December. I don’t think anything could have prepared me for it. One day, she was perfectly fine, and two weeks later, she went home to be with our Father in heaven. I know it's cliché, but she really was the most amazing Grandmother to me. She had 13 kids, 19 grandchildren, she lived through the Dutch and Japanese occupation in Indonesia, and spent her whole life loving and caring for everyone before herself.
In the days right after she passed, I found myself asking God, "why now?" I had so many things going on outside of this, so many personal challenges that were at their peaks, and I couldn't make sense of why God chose that specific moment to call my Grandma home. But in these last couple months, I feel as though God has slowly been revealing His innerworkings of peace to my heart; he's been provisioning me with perspective. I didn't recognize it when these things were happening, but God had been preparing me all along.
Last Christmas was the last time I was with my Grandma in-person. We usually go visit Atlanta every couple years, but there were things about this trip that made it more memorable and different than any other year.
The first thing that happened that was sort of atypical was the fact that we took so many pictures. Every time we visit we take a picture or two on the last day, but this time we specifically scheduled it; we helped her dress up, put on makeup, and took lots and lots of photos with the family.
The next thing that happened was that my cousin and I decided that year to film a video of my Grandma, sort of like a biography thing where we filmed her and asked her questions about her life; where she was born, where she grew up, some of her stories. This was a vision my cousin had thought of doing for years and years, but would always put it off, until last December.
During this trip, my cousin and I also made it a goal to start Face Timing each other every month so we could stay close and check in on one another.
Shortly after I came back from the trip, someone stepped up in my life to be my mentor, and we also started meeting monthly.
As these things were happening, they didn't strike me as specially timed, let alone significant events, and to be honest, I didn't really think much of them at all.
But now, as I look back, they were SO important. God had been watching over me, even when I lacked the foresight and was ignorant to these little events that God had a hand in, He was preparing me, providing me with support systems, providing me with everything I didn't even know I'd need, like concrete memories, but most importantly, He was with me then, just as He was before, and just as He is now.
I've realized now that these were ways that God had been preparing me, and our family, all this time, so that we could find our peace apart from my Grandma, and with Him instead. It's in circumstances like these where I am renewed in my awe of how big, how perfect, and how steadfast God is in His love for us. He's been gently guiding me, giving me so much more than I've ever asked, and demonstrating to me, that although I'm unworthy, He is present in every single moment.
One of the questions I was asking God was "why now?"
As I reflect, I realized that I truly didn't have any regrets about my relationship with my Grandma, which I know is kind of odd, because when someone passes, people usually wish they could have changed something. I called her every Sunday, and I told her I loved her every time I got off the phone with her. There was nothing I wished that I could have said to her that I didn't in this life, and nothing I wished I had done differently.
Although I thought I wasn't prepared, God had been weaving this thread, pulling me along, and he waited till then, in his perfect time, to reveal each perfect stitch proving to me that He had prepared me--He had done the work for me already.
On that same trip last Christmas, I visited my Grandpa at the funeral home. It had been years since I'd visited, since my Grandma didn't go out much anymore and we wanted to spend most of our time with her. But last year, I was really determined for some reason to visit and go see him. Something I always remembered was how devoted my Grandma was to him, even when she couldn't walk well anymore, she still visited every year on his birthday, she'd bring him all his favorite food and fruits, and she would sing Amazing Grace to him.
There was no possible way I could have known that the next time I stepped foot in that place, it would be my Grandma too that I'd be visiting.
When my Grandpa passed 14 years ago, she had already reserved a space next to him with the following verses chosen out:
As some of you might know, my Grandmother passed away in December. I don’t think anything could have prepared me for it. One day, she was perfectly fine, and two weeks later, she went home to be with our Father in heaven. I know it's cliché, but she really was the most amazing Grandmother to me. She had 13 kids, 19 grandchildren, she lived through the Dutch and Japanese occupation in Indonesia, and spent her whole life loving and caring for everyone before herself.
In the days right after she passed, I found myself asking God, "why now?" I had so many things going on outside of this, so many personal challenges that were at their peaks, and I couldn't make sense of why God chose that specific moment to call my Grandma home. But in these last couple months, I feel as though God has slowly been revealing His innerworkings of peace to my heart; he's been provisioning me with perspective. I didn't recognize it when these things were happening, but God had been preparing me all along.
Last Christmas was the last time I was with my Grandma in-person. We usually go visit Atlanta every couple years, but there were things about this trip that made it more memorable and different than any other year.
The first thing that happened that was sort of atypical was the fact that we took so many pictures. Every time we visit we take a picture or two on the last day, but this time we specifically scheduled it; we helped her dress up, put on makeup, and took lots and lots of photos with the family.
The next thing that happened was that my cousin and I decided that year to film a video of my Grandma, sort of like a biography thing where we filmed her and asked her questions about her life; where she was born, where she grew up, some of her stories. This was a vision my cousin had thought of doing for years and years, but would always put it off, until last December.
During this trip, my cousin and I also made it a goal to start Face Timing each other every month so we could stay close and check in on one another.
Shortly after I came back from the trip, someone stepped up in my life to be my mentor, and we also started meeting monthly.
As these things were happening, they didn't strike me as specially timed, let alone significant events, and to be honest, I didn't really think much of them at all.
But now, as I look back, they were SO important. God had been watching over me, even when I lacked the foresight and was ignorant to these little events that God had a hand in, He was preparing me, providing me with support systems, providing me with everything I didn't even know I'd need, like concrete memories, but most importantly, He was with me then, just as He was before, and just as He is now.
I've realized now that these were ways that God had been preparing me, and our family, all this time, so that we could find our peace apart from my Grandma, and with Him instead. It's in circumstances like these where I am renewed in my awe of how big, how perfect, and how steadfast God is in His love for us. He's been gently guiding me, giving me so much more than I've ever asked, and demonstrating to me, that although I'm unworthy, He is present in every single moment.
One of the questions I was asking God was "why now?"
As I reflect, I realized that I truly didn't have any regrets about my relationship with my Grandma, which I know is kind of odd, because when someone passes, people usually wish they could have changed something. I called her every Sunday, and I told her I loved her every time I got off the phone with her. There was nothing I wished that I could have said to her that I didn't in this life, and nothing I wished I had done differently.
Although I thought I wasn't prepared, God had been weaving this thread, pulling me along, and he waited till then, in his perfect time, to reveal each perfect stitch proving to me that He had prepared me--He had done the work for me already.
On that same trip last Christmas, I visited my Grandpa at the funeral home. It had been years since I'd visited, since my Grandma didn't go out much anymore and we wanted to spend most of our time with her. But last year, I was really determined for some reason to visit and go see him. Something I always remembered was how devoted my Grandma was to him, even when she couldn't walk well anymore, she still visited every year on his birthday, she'd bring him all his favorite food and fruits, and she would sing Amazing Grace to him.
There was no possible way I could have known that the next time I stepped foot in that place, it would be my Grandma too that I'd be visiting.
When my Grandpa passed 14 years ago, she had already reserved a space next to him with the following verses chosen out:
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."
2 Corinthians 5:17-19
I think this answers my question of "why now?" more than anything. This reconciliation that we have through Jesus, this makes me sure and gives me peace that Popo is in heaven, and that by the grace of God, it won't be much time at all till I see her again.